You know, police work can be real easy–in a police state. I’m sure that the police in China, North Korea, or even Cuba don’t have to jump through the hoops that police in free societies must jump through. So, it’s also fair to say that we Americans probably have some of the best police officers in the world, given how hard they must work to satisfy the demands of a free people. That is, so long as our judges keep them in line.
That being said, if you want to search somebody’s home, this is one of the toughest things a government official can ask of another government official. Our judges must scrutinize these “affidavits” in support of home search warrants. I personally know several judges that are so demanding of law enforcement regarding this important issue, that they claim the police rarely ask them to sign warrants anymore! But put yourself in the shoes of a neutral judge. He or she is an elected official, and part of that job requires that they sign warrants to search homes, should the warrant contain enough evidence of a crime to permit such. And, that’s the question we’re going to delve into today–just how much evidence, written down on a few pieces of paper, is enough to permit the government to search your wife’s drawer of undergarments? Yes, they’re searching that drawer first, trust me.
The invasion of one’s personal space is beyond comprehension in cases of home search warrants (second only to a body cavity search, I presume). Let’s face it, the police always show up to serve their warrant late at night, when everybody is home sleeping, and many folks are not wearing much in the way of clothing. No, citizens are not permitted to get dressed during a search warrant, nothing in the law permits such, unless the police allow it. Now, in my over twenty years of experience, I have noticed that old, hairly, ugly men are entitled to put some pants on. But if you’re a young hot female, you must simply sit there wearing next to nothing while half the police force trample through your home–with half of the problem being the embarrassment of a dozen strange men staring at you in your undergarments–the other half of the problem being that it is simply too cold to be dressed as such without snuggling under some covers. Hey, don’t kill the messenger here, I’m just reporting what’s going down out there. But, a blanket for a shivering half dressed woman would be nice, right? Oh no, the blanket might have a gun or drugs hidden inside, so the police cannot take a chance on her grabbing a blanket and shooting up the place Angela Jolie style (ever see Mr. & Mrs. Smith? Mrs. Smith had weapons everywhere in that house. That movie is a police academy training video of what to look out for when entering a nice suburban home, and how violent an attractive suburban mommy can be…I’m just saying). Anyway, that’s the side of home search warrants that you won’t see addressed by the appeals court. Now, let’s get back to understanding how in the heck the government is able to enter someone’s home legally.