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Articles Posted in Legal Issues

jail-e1589564822154-225x300If you’ve got to do a bit of time in jail, then it is essential to squeeze out every last drop of credit time served that is humanly possible.

And, if you find yourself in that unfortunate position of having to await transport from another state’s jail back to Florida you may be wondering, is any of that time in a “foreign jail” going to count?

Well, that depends.

In the recent case of Chimale v. StateChimale filed a motion to get an additional 97 days of additional foreign jail credit for time spent in an Argentina jail awaiting transport back to Florida.  2020 Fla. App. Lexis 5109 (Fla. 1st DCA 2020).  Argentina wasn’t holding him on any other charge, so most folks would assume that because the Florida case was the only reason he was being held–Chimale was entitled to that time served.  But, that’s not the law, and his request for that credit time served was denied.  Here’s why. Continue Reading

Memory is a funny thing.  It is not as accurate as we think.Photo_092808_0061-300x225

My mom had a better memory of my childhood than I.  She told stories that I believe happened, and I was there (obviously), but I don’t remember.  Some of these stories I’ve adopted, and I don’t remember whether I’m remembering what actually happened, or I’m just remembering the story my mom told me.

Other times, I remember parts of an experience.  A few days ago, it was cold in Orlando.   And, every time I walked outside “in the cold”, it reminded me of my trip to Berlin a few years ago.  The air felt just like Berlin.  It’s funny how something as simple as the temperature has a way of transporting you to places and memories.

Some songs are attached to memories.  I heard a great obscure song the other day, and it reminded me of my days as a college DJ at KSLU.  Five seconds into this song, I’m back in a DJ booth with turntables and carts everywhere (song, Postcards from Paradise by Flesh For Lulu–told you it was obscure–yes, a  shameless display of my alternative credentials, almost as unauthentic as telling people to be authentic…).

There are plenty of things I want to remember, but I just can’t.  Here’s an odd one, and maybe you can answer this question.  First, some background.

My significant other and I were big fans of Pleasure Island (PI).  For those of you unfamiliar, think back to a time when Disney was at the peak of their powers, no competition in sight.  They decided to create an adult playground full of dance clubs, beach bars, and comedy clubs.  At midnight, they celebrated New Year’s.  Fireworks.  Dancers.  Every night.  It was a sight to behold.

But parties aren’t meant to last. Continue Reading

Mark-Twain-Quote-e1568495858450-300x168How hard is it to predict the path of a hurricane?

We have computer models.  We have Satellite 4000 Radar Plus scanning the skies.  We have people with Ph.D.’s and wind sensors and thermometers and atmospheric pressure sensors and still, no one can tell you where this storm is going to land.  

A hurricane was heading our way a couple of weeks ago, Dorian.  Every news channel had 9 different “models” showing the storm heading in nine different directions.

Or, as Yogi Berra would say, “It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.”

And yet, many folks want to know what’s going to happen if they lose at trial.  I would want to know this if I was accused of a crime.  And, I want to answer this question.  I’m tempted to answer this question.  Some lawyer marketing people insist that the amount of confidence I exude when I answer this question may determine whether or not I get hired.

If you ask me what’s going to happen if you lose at trial, here’s my first question.

Who is your judge?

As the saying goes, a good lawyer knows the law but a great lawyer knows the judge. Continue Reading

referee-300x200I’m not a huge baseball fan, but I’ll watch when the St. Louis Cardinals are in the playoffs (and, they usually are).

Like many pro sports, baseball permits the players to argue with the umpire–up to a point.  But, when a certain line is crossed, the umpire throws a weird hand jester pointing to the exit–and the player is ejected from the game.  Even if you know nothing about baseball, you’ll recognize when a player is booted from the game.

What sort of language gets you kicked out of a game?

There are lines in baseball that you don’t cross.  A player can say “Hey ump, come on, that wasn’t a strike”.   Or even,”that wasn’t a [explitive] strike.”

But, the player cannot say, “Ump, you are an [explitive].”  If you complain that the pitch was an [explitive] ball when the umpire thought it was a strike, that’s ok.  But if you complain that the umpire is an [explitive], you’ve crossed the line and you’re getting thrown out of the game.  Even calling the umpire’s mother a bad name may get you ejected from the game.

Sometimes, a team manager may deliberately get himself ejected from the game, just to rally his players a bit.  The same cannot be said in my profession.  In criminal defense, saying the wrong thing may get your client convicted.   In our case for today,  a prosecutor said some things that got a conviction overturned.

Loucrucha Jeansimon was sentenced to 30 years in prison for drug trafficking.  As you may have figured out by now, this sentence was overturned because the prosecutor said some things that shouldn’t have been said. Continue Reading

theft-300x225Think back to middle school or high school for a moment.

Remember that sinking feeling when you’d get called to the principal’s office?  Even the vice-principals office would give you that same feeling, right?

Ok, so this only happened to me.

If school administration never needed to pull you out of class, good for you, but I’m sure you’ve had other “uncomfortable talks.” How about those times when your significant other mentions five vague words like: “Honey, we need to talk.”  Hum, what could that be about?  I’ve done nothing wrong.

A serious talk with a doctor can change your whole outlook on life.  As I sit here typing this on a Monday afternoon, my week doesn’t seem that valuable.  Yes, I take things for granted I suppose.  But, my tune would change if a doctor told me that I only have another week to live.  How much would I pay just to have another day?  Just to have another week?  Every day would be priceless at that point.  (some folks visualize the worst possible thing every morning, wife and kids dying, what-have-you, in order to set up gratitude to last the rest of the day.  I can’t stomach that.)

Talking with the police can land you in a similar spot.  Say the wrong thing, and you may be spending the rest of your life behind bars.  Fortunately for some, DNA testing has set free hundreds of people who have spent decades in prison–and these folks had confessed to their crime.

Yes, detectives are professional interrogators.  Just like a magician can make things disappear, detectives can make people say things that aren’t true.  False confessions occur for any number of reasons, and the phenomenon is scary.   But there is something you can do. Continue Reading

baggies-cu-e1563998786979-225x300I went to public schools through the eighth grade, but for high school, my parents sent me kicking and screaming to an all-boys Jesuit (Catholic) High School.  I grew to love the place, but leaving my old friends was tough (I’m pretty sure that’s what my parents had in mind.  It worked, by the way).

So, one cool thing about going to a school run by priests and nuns is that you get to know a few priests and nuns.  They’re interesting people.

This one particular nun really enjoy teaching testosterone-filled young men (redundant, as I suppose all high schools are chuck full ‘o hormones).   Prior to arriving at my school, she had been locked away in a monastery for the last decade.  No communication with the outside world.  No newspaper.  No phone.  No television.  no radio.  No nothing, other than the other nuns, of course.

The sequestered way of life seemed insane to me because in my youth, I was so wrapped up in the news cycle and current events  that I couldn’t imagine spending a decade without the news.  News is “important,” right?

I asked her once, “what if something important happened, how would you know?”

She said that “if anything important happened, someone in the town would walk up the hill, knock on the door, and explain what was going on.  And, that never happened.”

Basically, this nun survived a decade without one bit of news.  Not one TV show.  Nothing. How could she NOT know “what’s going on?”

Well, I now understand where this nun was coming from because I also no longer watch the news (as best I’m able).  It’s taken me over 30 years to get there, but I’ve arrived.  No, I’m not being some smug elitist that “only reads books”, I’m just saying that for me personally, the news cycle is not uplifting.  I’m happier without it.

Now for the hypocrisy, of sorts.  It brings me great joy to bring you some happy news. Continue Reading

Truth is a funny thing.IMG_5029-e1529527687928-300x73

Everyone thinks they’ve got it.

Scientists think they have it.  Every religion thinks they have it.   And, its a tad curious how psychedelic drugs cause their users to preach of new truths and perspectives.

For a hard core materialist, it won’t matter how believable an “experience” may be–its not real unless it can be scientifically verified.  (Side Note: there’s some really odd complaints these days about the fact that falsification of a scientific theory isn’t as important as it used to be–but this is a story for another day)

Anyway, speaking of materialism, love is tough to prove.  Even pain is tough to prove, doctors have to take your word for it.  For some, it may be that mathematics contains more truth than the probabilistic sciences can deliver (for you statistics fans, isn’t it true that all of science can be reduced to probabilities?).

So, if there is such a thing as “truth” floating around out there, what are some reliable ways to find it?

In our court system, the jury decides what is true.  We call them the “finders of fact”.  We attorneys obtain a Juris Doctorate degree just to better navigate the filtration of what the jury can–or cannot–hear.   the rule against presenting hearsay testimony, for example, keep rumors out of our quest for truth.

Florida’s criminal laws have lots of rules regarding confessions.  Again, if we’re on a quest to discover the truth, what’s better than a confession, right?  Well, it depends.  If the confession comes after spending 10 hours with a few cops, can you really trust that confession?   Our Supreme Court started laying down confession rules many years ago in  Spano v. New York.  360 U.S. 315 (1959).   Spano was suspected of murder but the cops couldn’t get him to talk, so they rounded up a close childhood friend, who then manipulated him into confessing.    Yes, his confession was thrown out of court.

Surely, that sort of thing doesn’t happen today, does it? Continue Reading

IMG_4236-e1530542832691-225x300We Americans can be a rebellious group.

I’ll go out on a limb here and claim that we’re more rambunctious than most countries.  To prove my point, take the following example.

Think back to the 1970’s.  The whole world is converting to the metric system.  Two north american governments decide to make a big change.    You know, Kilometers instead of Miles.  The whole nine yards.    Canada and the United States agree that its time for North America to catch up with the rest of the world, so both countries pass a law making the metric system “official”.

Now, if you travel to Canada, their signs will say “Ontario — 10 Kilometers”.

If you travel here in the US, you’ll see “Miami — 10 Miles”.

Both countries passed the law.  Both countries agreed to convert.  Why did Canadians follow their law, and we ignored it?

Because, we’re Americans.  We don’t like being told by some Supreme Authority how to measure things.  We don’t like being told what to do.  And this brings me to the topic of the day.

When a letter comes in the mail telling you to show up for court, must we citizens drop everything, fly back into town from our vacation,  and appear in court?  All because a piece of paper lands in our mailbox?

More importantly, what happens if you don’t show up to court?

Continue Reading

conference-pic-e1526767430499-300x208Awww, come on guys, it’s so simple maybe you need a refresher course.  It’s all ball bearings nowadays.  Now you prepare that Fetzer valve with some 3-in-1 oil and some gauze pads, and I’m gonna need ’bout ten quarts of anti-freeze, preferably Prestone“.  — Fletch (film, Chevy Chase)

Have you ever met someone who thinks they know what they’re talking about, yet something in your gut (your BS detector) tells you they don’t really have it all figured out?

Scientists are notorious for this sort of thing.  They throw around a few equations, add a few big words, and we all assume they’ve figured something out.  Cops are as bad as scientists when it comes to acting like they’ve got it all figured out—but more on that later.

There are several scientific fields that can trigger a reasonable person’s BS detectors.  For example, evolutionary psychologists claim that people love golf because the open spaces make humans feel safe.  Hum.  People get paid to come up with this stuff?  How do I get in on this?

Neuroscience has jumped into the pure speculation game, as they now claim that everything is reducable to brain activity.  Hey, you fell in love and finally engaged in that special first kiss?  Well, it really isn’t that special, neurologists will tell you that they’ve found the “first kiss” neurons located in the bottom right corner of the frontal cortex.    Oh, you had a religious experience?  No you didn’t.  In the most condecending tone imaginable, some neurologist will pat you on the head like you’re their pet doggy, and explain that this life changing experience was just temporal lobe epilepsy.

But when you dig deeper into these so-called scientific explanations, they’re really not explanations at all.  They label things, sure enough, much like an engineer can label the data transmissions of your home modem.  But they’re not really telling you anything about what’s really happening.

Recently, I saw a neuroscientist “explain” how they’ve figured out what is going on during a psychedelic experience.  Psychedelic drug research is super interesting, and it utilizes drugs like psilocybin (mushrooms), MDMA (extasy), and DMT/Ayahuasca.

Anyway,  the “breakthrough” discovery is this: all of these drugs react on our brain’s 5-HT2B receptor.  Amazing, right?  That’s an impressive word, 5-HT2B receptor.

But there’s only one problem with this discovery.

Once a psychedelic drug hits the brain’s 5-HT2B receptor—we know absolutely nothing about what happens next.  It’s like some doctor “discovering” that once I drink some water that same water will eventually come out another orface.  Ok.  But what happens in between?  Does the water go to a kidney or two?  Is there any sort of processing?  The only thing we know about the brain’s reaction to psychedelics is that they hit the 5-HT2B receptor.  All knowledge ceases right there.

Still, its impressive to listen to neurologists toss around the term “5-HT2B receptor”.  Just saying this word increases your perceived IQ by several points, but fundamentally, this “discovery” sounds only slightly more credible than Fletch’s explanation of the Fetzer valve.  Continue Reading

IMG_4420-300x225I belong to a nice health club.  Just by looking at me, you wouldn’t get the impression that I actually work out, but I’m a member.  I’ve got that going for me.  It does make me feel better to buy memberships and healthy things.

Have you ever seen that guy that’s always working out, yet never seems to make any progress?  That’s me.  As an “in shape” friend once told me–you can’t outrun your mouth.

Anyway, back to the gym.  Inside the men’s locker room we have a hot tub, a cold plunge, a steam room, a sauna, and tons of showers.  All of which is just to say that we need lots of towels.  The problem is, some guys don’t pick up after themselves.  Dirty towels everywhere.  Shocking, I know.

Now, there are some really great guys working in men’s locker room, making sure the place is clean and bringing us a constant supply of fresh towels.  These workers are the nicest folks you’ll ever meet, and they work for peanuts.  The least we could do for these guys is pick up after ourselves.  Its common decency, really.

On one recent occasion (which is why I’m writing about this), a fellow gym member must have had five towels on the floor.  He then packed up his things to leave, making no attempt to pick up after himself.  Another member gently mentioned to him that the towel deposit bins are just a few feet from where he was standing.  As you might expect, the towel offender was having none of that, snapping back “I pay enough dues every month, and that’s not my job.”

Actually, our health club requires members to pick up after themselves.  That is a member’s only job outside of paying the monthly dues.

At some point, we have all worked with someone who simply will not do their job.  Sure, they show up to work.  Sure, they answer their phone.  To an outsider, nothing looks amiss.  But everyone working with them–the people who know exactly what they should be doing–we know that they’re not really doing their job.

Speaking of people not doing their job, what defense attorney rant would be complete without mentioning judges? Continue Reading