Self-help is everywhere. But, which approach works best?
At the risk of oversimplifying things, self-help falls into two categories. For some, the focus is on thoughts. Change your thinking, change your life. Flooding your mind with positive thinking will, theoretically, lead to positive outcomes (there’s some physics behind this, believe it or not). I’ve run my own experiment, contemplating the positive that would come out of winning the lottery. I’m sad to report that my positive thinking has had no impact as of yet.
Some self-help folks shy away from positive thinking, and believe that emptying our brains of its constant chatter helps improve things greatly (monks chanting prayers, meditation, and so forth). I’ve tried this too, with mixed results (my prayers seem to work, but I haven’t prayed to win the lottery…).
For every Ying, there’s a Yang. There are also self-help programs that believe changing your thoughts is useless. A waste of time. For them, change only comes with action. Change what you “do”, and you’ll change who you “are”.
Is it our actions that change us, or our thoughts? Well, it’s probably both, working together in some vicious cycle I’m unqualified to discuss much further. But I will say this: sometimes, the best way to help yourself is to “not” do something. Most of my clients could have helped themselves greatly, had they just not confessed to the cops. Or, had they just refrained from doing something illegal. Shocking, I know.
We Americans have a privilege against incriminating ourselves. This privilege against self-incrimination is found in the Fifth Amendment, and you’ve probably heard Miranda Warnings on cop shows where folks are being told that they have a right to remain silent because if they talk–it will be used against them. Continue Reading